The Questions of a Disgruntled Traveler.

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Ashley McGough is an old friend of mine (Coralie) from Auburn. He and his roommate and I worked together and looked after each other for most of the time I lived in Auburn. I was very excited when Ashley agreed to do a guest post for us. I honestly had no idea what he would write about but, I knew it would be something our readers could relate to- Which one of us hasn’t found ourself having a crazy conversation with our subconscious on long solo drives? Ashley shared his from a recent trip home to North Alabama. Just a little snapshot of his brain- Without further ado-

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To Be or Not To Be? Who’s there? If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself? These are a few of life’s most pressing questions. Along with some others that cross my mind while I am waiting in traffic. Normally I listen to music and just go with the flow, but on a recent trip to my hometown of Nauvoo, a few more of life’s burning questions crossed my mind. And I gave my own answers. Here they are, and I hope they are thought provoking.

What does that vanity license plate mean? Why do you care, McGough?

If it is an inside joke, they shouldn’t have made it public.

I was doing 20 miles per hour over the speed limit back there and the person following was dry humping me, why? I couldn’t answer this one without asking another question. Is road rage temporary insanity? Probably not, and I really shouldn’t try to find out.

Another one was why did I ignore the GPS and decide to try a “shortcut”? Simply, I wanted to add 20 minutes to my trip and I needed to know where Briarwood Christian School is located. Or so I told myself.

The classic man’s question, what the hell is that smell? Skunk.

Why are the doors swinging wildly on the trailer of that 18 wheeler? For me to ask questions, obviously.

Is that my exit coming up? Sure was!!!!

And no matter what, my mind always drifts to work. But never do I think about projects or deadlines. What is this stain on my khakis? Was it there when I arrived at work? Oh well, at least it actually looks like I was working instead of watching football all shift long. Score!!!

And finally, I have to pee, should I stop here? No. You should hold it for two more hours and be very uncomfortable. Your punishment for flipping off the dry-humper.

What types of things do you think about while waiting in traffic? Hopefully things that could benefit society, like the next great bourbon drink. Thanks for reading my friends. Peace be with you.

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Ashley McGough

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