ACNESTIS – (ak-NEES-tis) – noun: The part of the body where one cannot reach to scratch. From Greek aknestis (spine), from Ancient Greek knestis (spine, cheese-grater).
Examine the above definition carefully. Isn’t the human language wonderful? There is a word that describes a scratch that is just… out… of… reach. So great was mans frustration at the un-scratched itch that he needed to invent a word to describe it. Try and use “acnestis” today, smarty-pants.
Few things in life are more satisfying than a good back-scratching. Seriously. I would be curious to see what brain chemicals were released when a back scratch was relieved. The older I get, the itchier my skin gets, and I’ve even developed a little cluster of nerve damage on my right shoulder blade that is consistently itchy. Growing older is AWESOME! Enlisting someone else to scratch your back can be great, but there is also a communications learning curve when defining direction and strength application. It becomes a team exercise. And although bears are awesome, there more effective and less-splintery ways to scratch than rubbing up against trees. Maybe you’ve seen them in stores, but in case you haven’t, I wanted to introduce you to The Bear Claw Extendable Back Scratcher.
I’ve tried many a novelty back scratcher, but this is the real deal. Maybe you’ve seen them at your local stores. I bought mine at a Hallmark in Valencia, CA. You can find it here at FTTDWYW: THE STORE! At first glance it looks like a gimmicky tchotchke. But this, my friends, is the deal that is real.
- It has telescoping action allowing it to reach anywhere. Once you master maneuvering it, for it does take some finesse, there is not an itch that cannot be reached.
- The handle is foamy and soft. Since you are applying the appropriate pressure at the handle, you want a nice foamy grip.
- Another fine feature is the bear claw itself. If you don’t have fingernails, then sometimes a scratch is not as satisfying. Although it looks a little silly, the fingers/claws on this apparatus are thin enough to effectively scratch the itch and curved at the perfect angle to really satisfy- through clothing OR on bare skin. But, the fingers/claws are just dull enough so that it isn’t dangerous. You know, like an actual claw.
The only drawback this product has is that sometimes, when you are threading it through a shirt neck/arm hole the claw will get turned around backwards rendering it next to useless in the scratching department. Apparently bear knuckles aren’t as effective. But, I just wanted to share this recommendation with you guys. What was initially purchased as a joke has turned into part of my daily ritual. Before I go to bed, after flossing my teeth, I then give my back a good scratch. Josh is a little jealous because it has taken him out of the back-scratching equation. But this product has become essential to me. It resides on my bedside table and even travels with me in my toiletry kit. I was so impressed, in fact, with these guys that I bought them as Christmas presents for the gentlemen in my life. They make a great gift idea for anyone. The scratch is so good that I use it to scratch even places I CAN reach.
So, next time you can’t get no satisfaction when you are “itching like a man on a fuzzy tree” you won’t be able to blame FTTDWYW. This is not a sponsored post, but it can be: firstname.lastname@example.org ! What do you think? Does your back require awesome scratching? As always, let us know!