Haters are Gonna Hate- Why Be a Hater?

imageSometime in the last month or so a friend of mine posted a quote picture on Facebook that really struck a cord with me. It said something to the effect of, If you don’t believe in abortion- don’t have one; If you don’t believe in God- don’t worship Him; If you don’t believe in the right to bear arms- don’t carry one; If you don’t believe in same sex marriage- don’t have one; If you don’t think it should be smoked- don’t smoke it. I am sure there were more, but I can’t remember them now. However, it totally summed up exactly how I feel about most of the topics it addressed. I think everyone should have the freedom of choice to be and say who they are.

I am not sure what causes people to start judging- maybe confusion, fear or a misconception. It drives me crazy. I am not perfect, by any means, but I try to keep an open mind and seriously reserve judgment. But. I have to check myself about judging small-minded judgmental people because in passing judgment on these people I am no better than them passing judgement on some other group of people.

This past week Bub, Baby Bub and I went down to the beach to watch our friend’s child do some skim boarding. We sat on the deck of a restaurant-bar that overlooks the beach. We were joined by another friend who happens to be gay. Our party was just about the only people on the deck- that was probably a good thing because we were busy entertaining ourselves. At one point, a middle aged couple came out and sat in the corner of the deck opposite of us. I glanced over there and the man was mimicking my gay friend and his wife was trying to nonchalantly turn around and check us out.

I wanted to go over there and punch him in the jugular.

But. Then. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions- maybe I was no better than that couple because I was passing judgement on them just as quickly as they seemed to be passing judgment on us. Maybe they did not remember a time they had been judged for just being their unabashed, unedited self. I don’t think any good human should have to apologize for who they are.

imageAnother story of judgement, this one on my part that has to do with my Daddy. My father is a card-carrying member of the Republican Party. My hometown police department has a note on file about Daddy- armed and accurate. I think it is fair to say that he has conservative political views. And he’s not the biggest fan of change. So, when out of the blue he announced his support of legalizing marijuana, I almost fell out in the floor! He then proceeded, adamantly, to list all the reasons he believed it should be legalized. (Tax money a la Colorado being his number one reason.) Him coming out with this and me being blown away by it is just an example for myself to realize that just because my Daddy is my Daddy doesn’t mean that he can’t open up and support change. And in the same breath, I need to be more open to perspective and gaining insight into different ways of thinking.

Haters are gonna hate. That is certain. But, seriously- hating takes a tremendous amount of energy. So, why hate? There will always be groups of people and ways of living that you don’t understand or struggle to relate to. But, if they are causing no harm to you, yours or themselves, why not just let them be? I am working on being less judgmental of the haters, now the haters need to work on hating less.

Have you ever found yourself being judged? Have your preconceived notions ever been blown out of the water? Tell us what you think?

All the Best,


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  1. You’re so right…I find myself doing this at work ALL of the time and it disgusts me. If all I have to talk about with someone else happens to be other people… Then I probably shouldn’t be talking to them at all. I wish we could make Cobalt a hate free zone. Maybe One day!!!

  2. I have hated and been hated upon. And both sides are nasty. It is hard to feel pity and understanding for the haters, but big picture, you should feel sad for them. One of the things that makes this country great is the freedom to express our opinions, but man… some people.

  3. You’re so right, Coralie! Very well written. I can see/hear you saying it.

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